I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
