the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I did not marry a roomba.
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