Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
