She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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