is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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