You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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