Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
