But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
