I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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