after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
