I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
