So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
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im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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