Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
