Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
