i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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