So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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