i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
