you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
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