i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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