Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize