i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Drake has all the answers
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
