we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
