Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
