PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
