I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
