so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
