If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
this is an emotional support booty call
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
