She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Randomize
