I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
