I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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