I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
