you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
You were trust falling into bushes
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize