at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
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