Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Randomize
