Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I got inside last night via doggy door
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Randomize
