But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
