she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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