Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Randomize
