Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
What a dumb baby whore.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Randomize
