Please, let me fuck your mom
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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