You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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