It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Randomize
