oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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