i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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