he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
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he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
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Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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