As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
that may or may not have been my penis.
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