Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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