i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
