I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
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