Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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