i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
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