just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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