he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I'm always down for nudity.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
