Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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