we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
is it fun? or sober?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
