I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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