he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
