She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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