Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Damn victory sex feels great
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
